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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

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17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Making waves on WeChat:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Going viral on Telegram:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Trending via Messenger:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Trending via Slack:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

2 months ago

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That moment when I'm both the bank and the broke customer 😅💸🤔

adulting, back, borrowing, favorite, finance, humor, money, myself, paying, paying back, personal, personal finance, self

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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

12 shares on Discord this month:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

47 shares on Instagram this month:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Breaking via Messenger:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Seen just now on Threads:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Going viral on Discord:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

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Activity Log ✨

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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