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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Seen just now on YouTube:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Trending via Reddit:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Trending via TikTok:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Spotted on YouTube:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That moment when I'm both the bank and the broke customer 😅💸🤔

adulting, back, borrowing, favorite, finance, humor, money, myself, paying, paying back, personal, personal finance, self

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have no beef with vegetarians.

0

2 months ago

beef, diet, food, humor, i, joke, vegetarian
They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

0

4 months ago

feeling, feeling rested, humor, invent, invention, rest, rested, should, sleep, sleeping, tired, type, wake, wake up, where
My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, counseling, couples, couples counseling, girlfriend, humor, i, knows, relationship, should, therapist, therapy, try, wrong
Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

0

1 month ago

bad, breaking, breaking heart, emotion, good, heart, humor, irony, love, melting, melting heart, relationship
Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

0

2 months ago

brag, childless, humor, life, life situation, situation, time
The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

0

2 months ago

advantage, being, contract, fitness, gym, humor, need, twin

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

57 shares on X this month:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

11 shares on X this month:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

95 shares on Discord this month:

You can reach me by butterfly.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Just landed via X:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Spotted on YouTube:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Spotted on Slack:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Broadcasted on Threads:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Just landed via Messenger:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Trending via Twitch:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Making waves on Instagram:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have no beef with vegetarians.

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨