My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.