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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has downloaded:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has copied:

If your wife uses β€œI” it means she will be doing something. β€œWe” means you will be.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has shared:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has copied:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has copied:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Instagram:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Making waves on Threads:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Spotted on Threads:

If she says β€œit’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Seen just now on X:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Netflix be like β€œwe know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to β€˜like’ them.

Making waves on Pinterest:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Humorous quote about the unexpected realization that it's Sunday instead of Saturday.
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Commentary:
Oh no, sounds like someone got caught in a time loop! πŸ”„β° Let's make Sunday just as fabulous as Saturday! πŸŽ‰ Embrace the unexpected Sunday fun! πŸ˜„πŸŽΆ

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

68 shares on X this month:

Hit my coworker with β€œyou’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has shared:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has downloaded:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has shared:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has shared:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has bookmarked:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has shared:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has downloaded:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Just landed via Snapchat:

β€œThe average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Just shared via Threads:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Breaking via Instagram:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Going bananas on X:

β€œThose tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Good morning to everyone β€” except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

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