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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Making waves on Slack:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Live now on TikTok:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Going bananas on Threads:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Seen just now on Threads:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Making waves on Twitch:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Going viral on X:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Trending via Snapchat:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Playful quote about neighbors arguing, with a witty idea to eavesdrop by knocking on the wall.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living in a shared space: where listening to arguments through the walls becomes a whole new form of entertainment 🎭🤔🎶 #NeighborDrama"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Messenger this month:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

64 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Going viral on Telegram:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Trending via Threads:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Shared recently on Threads:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Trending via X:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Breaking via Twitch:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Making waves on Reddit:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

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