Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Living in a shared space: where listening to arguments through the walls becomes a whole new form of entertainment 🎭🤔🎶 #NeighborDrama"

ask, conflict, eavesdropping, fighting, humor, i, knock, know, neighbors, observation, side, speak, wall

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

0

3 days ago

break, crash, detox, digital, digital detox, humor, internet, internet outage, media, needs, outage, recalibrate, satire, social, social media, social media break, society, technology, year
I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

0

2 months ago

activity, boyfriend, breasts, clean, fun, fun activity, humor, i, intimacy, never, shower, showered
Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

0

2 months ago

app, avoiding, banking, done, finance, humor, money, procrastination, responsibility, self-reflection, stop
When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

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2 months ago

asking, heart, humor, leg-bouncer, metaphor, own, someone, stop
On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

0

4 months ago

clutter, episode, hoarder, Hoarders, humor, mental, mental clutter, next, show, subconscious, TV, TV Show, visit
It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

0

3 days ago

call, communication, humor, irony, key, life, love, million, quick, song, songs, stakeholder, work, work life, zero

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on WeChat this month:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

75 shares on Threads this month:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

34 shares on Slack this month:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

18 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

100 shares on Instagram this month:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Live now on LinkedIn:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Just landed via Instagram:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Spotted on Discord:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Trending via Pinterest:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨