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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,676

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Just landed via Instagram:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Making waves on X:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Trending via Threads:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Spotted on Telegram:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Boop! Looks like I accidentally hit the "volume up" button instead 😅🔊🤐

apology, boop, button, communication, hoping, humor, i, joke, mute, mute button, nose, sorry, sound

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

0

3 weeks ago

another, catch, cheating, family, humor, invasion, pair, parent, parents, privacy, room, something, trying, why
The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, AI, AI response, being, ChatGPT, conversation, dumb, dumb person, dumbest, humor, know, person, response, right, sarcasm, told
Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

0

2 months ago

activity, brush, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, day, day off, family, family party, fun, fun activity, humor, leisure, leisure time, party, relaxation, theory, time
Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

0

2 months ago

behavior, expectations, fairness, irony, people, relationships, treat, upset
The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

0

2 months ago

Bachelor, Brooklyn, dating, humor, Madison, meet, reality, reality show, relationships, Savannah, show
Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

0

2 months ago

always, clue, demographic, drawing, good, manga, series, woman, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

31 shares on Slack this month:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

78 shares on X this month:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

52 shares on Twitch this month:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Just shared via Reddit:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Trending via Instagram:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Making waves on WeChat:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨