Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Just landed via X:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Going bananas on Discord:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Just landed via Facebook:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

17 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful text about regret and attraction with a humorous, lighthearted vibe.

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Commentary:
Haunting level: professional! I'm here… sometimes. 👻💌

affection, apology, communication, dating, feelings, ghosted, ghosting, humor, i, liked, much, relationship, sorry, too

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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Discord this month:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

96 shares on X this month:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

90 shares on X this month:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

87 shares on Slack this month:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Going bananas on Threads:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Shared recently on TikTok:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Going bananas on Messenger:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Going viral on WeChat:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Just shared via Instagram:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Spotted on Discord:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨