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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,991

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Shared recently on Threads:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Going viral on Messenger:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

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That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.
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Commentary:
Living in a time warp where every day's a Sundae 🍦🗓️ #PerpetualWeekend

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

12 shares on Messenger this month:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

12 shares on Discord this month:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Is this simulation from Temu?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,665

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Just landed via Messenger:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Trending via Instagram:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Just landed via YouTube:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Making waves on Facebook:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Just shared via YouTube:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Just shared via Slack:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

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