Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,818

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Making waves on TikTok:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Going bananas on YouTube:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Trending via Threads:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Shared recently on Threads:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Breaking via WeChat:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

0
The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate test of love and patience – the parental purging request for your treasure trove of 'memorabilia'! 📦😅 It's like being asked to part with a piece of your historic treasure map that leads to nostalgic treasures, or at least that's what you tell yourself to avoid tossing those beloved junk boxes!"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Is this simulation from Temu?

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

29 shares on Slack this month:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

50 shares on Threads this month:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,743

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Just landed via Discord:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Trending via Snapchat:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Making waves on Discord:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Just landed via Facebook:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Live now on Reddit:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴