Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,535

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Making waves on Twitch:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Trending via Snapchat:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Breaking via Twitch:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Just landed via Telegram:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Seen just now on X:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Spotted on Discord:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

2 weeks ago

Humorous text about the frustration of removing decades of clutter from parents' house.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate test of love and patience – the parental purging request for your treasure trove of 'memorabilia'! 📦😅 It's like being asked to part with a piece of your historic treasure map that leads to nostalgic treasures, or at least that's what you tell yourself to avoid tossing those beloved junk boxes!"

20, 20 years, asked, away, being, bo, family, house, injustice, junk, parents, procrastination, responsibility, storage, take, year’s

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Slack this month:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Being awake is the worst.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

59 shares on Discord this month:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Spotted on Reddit:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Trending via X:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

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