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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

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15,752

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Updated

Jan 19, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Spreading quickly via X:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Just shared via YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Just shared via Slack:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Seen just now on Discord:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Spotted on Twitch:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Making waves on YouTube:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Spotted on YouTube:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Just shared via Telegram:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Who needs a Thesaurus when you've got Friday? Boom shakalaka indeed – the day that brings out our inner dancing emoji! 🎉💃 #Friyay"

boom, boom shakalaka, excitement, Friday, fun, shakalaka, synonym

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

92 shares on Messenger this month:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

75 shares on Threads this month:

I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

89 shares on Slack this month:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

80 shares on Threads this month:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

27 shares on X this month:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

80 shares on X this month:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Spotted on TikTok:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Just landed via Twitch:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Spotted on Slack:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Seen just now on Discord:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Live now on Slack:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Going viral on Discord:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

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Activity Log ✨

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨