Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Spotted on TikTok:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Trending via Threads:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Just shared via Messenger:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Going viral on Facebook:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Spotted on Telegram:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

2 weeks ago

Humorous quote about money, showing a playful take on financial farewell.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems like your money has mastered the art of saying "see ya later" with a flourish! 💸👋 Maybe it's practicing for a future career in dramatic exits? Keep an eye out for those swanky handkerchiefs next time you're at the ATM! 😄

finance, goodbye, humor, joke, just, money, sarcasm, say, spending, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

82 shares on Slack this month:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

19 shares on X this month:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

100 shares on X this month:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The only men you can trust is ramen.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,407

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Spotted on TikTok:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Spotted on Slack:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Less talkie. More kissie.

Making waves on Reddit:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Breaking via Facebook:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴