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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Going viral on Slack:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Going viral on TikTok:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Going bananas on X:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Making waves on Discord:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like some traditions just never go out of style! 🦃😅 Bring on the shame, it's the perfect side dish for Thanksgiving dinner. 😂🙈"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on WeChat this month:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

58 shares on Slack this month:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

28 shares on Discord this month:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

36 shares on Threads this month:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

60 shares on X this month:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Just shared via Slack:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Spotted on WeChat:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Live now on WeChat:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

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