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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Making waves on WeChat:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Trending via Telegram:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Seen just now on X:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Just landed via WeChat:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Just shared via Slack:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Going bananas on TikTok:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

2 weeks ago

Witty text about IT surprises, highlighting humorous tech frustration with playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic IT mystery – the thrill of the unknown! 🤔💻 It's like discovering a rare unicorn in the digital realm! 🦄 Just remember, sometimes being unique can be a good thing… unless you're talking about tech issues! 😂 #ITadventures

bad, before, good, hear, humor, interesting, IT, never, never seen, oh, report, seen, something, technology, troubleshooting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on X this month:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

41 shares on X this month:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

19 shares on Discord this month:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

48 shares on Discord this month:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,352

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Making art is making love to the world.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Just landed via Telegram:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Trending via Telegram:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Going viral on YouTube:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Just shared via Messenger:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

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