Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,407

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Just shared via Threads:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Trending via Telegram:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Making waves on Slack:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Spotted on Instagram:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Spotted on YouTube:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Live now on Facebook:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Freshly posted on Threads:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Making waves on Slack:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

5 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about WW3's unpredictable timing, blending humor and dark humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I'll need to set multiple alarms and stock up on popcorn just in case 🍿⏰😅

duration, fast, happen, humor, last, life, rest, sleep, through, war, WW3

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Discord this month:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

97 shares on X this month:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

80 shares on X this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

18 shares on Slack this month:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Trending via Messenger:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Trending via Reddit:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Trending via Snapchat:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Live now on Slack:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Trending via Snapchat:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Live now on Instagram:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

Keep the laugh going 😂

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨