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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Live now on Instagram:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Going viral on WeChat:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Going viral on WeChat:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Making waves on Discord:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Just shared via WeChat:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Trending via Slack:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Trending via X:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

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Commentary:
Looks like I'll need to set multiple alarms and stock up on popcorn just in case 🍿⏰😅

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on TikTok this month:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

85 shares on X this month:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Everyday I wait for a vampire to seduce me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Just landed via Reddit:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Going viral on Instagram:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Trending via Telegram:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Just landed via Messenger:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Spotted on Telegram:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

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