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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Trending via Reddit:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Spotted on Slack:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Breaking via Threads:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Making waves on Twitch:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Making waves on Threads:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Spotted on Messenger:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Making waves on Instagram:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about real life lacking dramatic music for danger moments.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the lack of danger music in real life certainly makes things feel less dramatic 🎶🚨 Just imagine having a soundtrack to signal when things are about to get intense – would make for some epic moments or maybe chaos! 🔊💥 Oh well, I guess we'll just have to rely on our instincts and hope for the best! 🤷‍♂️ #WhereIsTheDangerMusic

danger, humor, know, life, music, real, reality, trouble

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on X this month:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

73 shares on Slack this month:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

59 shares on Telegram this month:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Live now on Slack:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Making waves on X:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Breaking via YouTube:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Live now on Discord:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Just landed via WeChat:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Just shared via Instagram:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Trending via Discord:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Seen just now on Discord:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Spotted on Telegram:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

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