Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,918

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Making waves on Telegram:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Live now on Discord:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Going viral on YouTube:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Going viral on Threads:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Going bananas on Messenger:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

0
You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
I may not be sliding into DMs, but I'm definitely sliding into the Tibetan fox fan club 📱🦊 #TechSavvyNot

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Discord this month:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,943

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Trending via Twitch:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Making waves on Reddit:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Spotted on Reddit:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Just shared via Twitch:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴