Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Trending via Snapchat:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Trending via Reddit:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Seen just now on Discord:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Shared recently on Slack:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I may not be sliding into DMs, but I'm definitely sliding into the Tibetan fox fan club 📱🦊 #TechSavvyNot

accidentally, app, confusion, DM, DMs, fox, humor, i, know, media, reel, repost, social, social media, struggle, technology, technology struggle, tibetan, Tibetan fox

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

0

2 months ago

anyone, food, going, humor, IKEA, meatball, needs, shopping, Swedish, Swedish meatball, trip
My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

0

2 months ago

appliances, blower, creativity, dryer, hair, hair dryer, household, humor, leaf, leaf blower, multitasking, powerful
Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

0

2 months ago

25, bliss, couple, happy, humor, husband, irony, love, marriage, relationship
Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

0

2 months ago

around, brain, going, growth, having, health, humor, insight, living, mental, mental health, personal, personal growth, self-discovery, someone, therapy, walk
Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult content, attraction, awkward, awkward moment, content, desire, Funny, funny observation, horny, humor, looks, moment, observation, porn, sexuality
GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

0

2 months ago

conservation, environment, gaming, GTA6, humor, restoration, satire, should, streams, wetland, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Slack this month:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

84 shares on Threads this month:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Spotted on Twitch:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Just shared via Twitch:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Trending via Messenger:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Making waves on Threads:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨