Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Going viral on X:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Trending via Twitch:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Making waves on X:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Making waves on Messenger:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

40 Funny Garden Captions to Plant a Smile on Your Face

Welcome to a world of green giggles with our funny garden captions! 🌿😂 Whether you’re a seasoned gardener or just love a good laugh, these captions will add a touch of humor to your photos and posts. Let’s dig in and find the perfect words to make your garden shine with smiles! 🌸😄

Funny Garden Captions for Green Thumbs

I’m too busy watering my plants to deal with your nonsense! 🌱😜
Gardening is my dirty little secret! 🌻🤫
You grow girl! 🌷💪
Life’s a garden, dig it! 🌿😏
I’m on cloud wine… I mean, nine! 🍇🍷
Keep calm and carrot on! 🥕😌
Gardeners know all the dirt! 🌱🕵️‍♂️
Believe in your thymes! 🌿⏰
Dill with it! 🌿😂
Gardening: cheaper than therapy and you get tomatoes! 🍅🧘‍♂️
Don’t stop be-leafing! 🌿🎶
I’m in peas-ful harmony! 🌱✌️
This rose has thorns! 🔥🌹
Gnome sweet gnome! 🏡🧙‍♂️
Let’s turnip the beet! 🎶🥔
Plant lady is the new cat lady! 🌿😺
I’m so excited, I wet my plants! 💦😂
Lettuce romaine friends forever! 🥗🤝
What in carnation? 🌸🤔
I’m rooting for ya! 🌱👏

More Funny Garden Captions to Sprout Laughter

Thyme to turnip the beet! 🌿🎶
Put the petal to the metal! 🌸🚗
I’m feeling vine! 🌿🍇
Call me a succa for succulents! 🌵😍
Just another manic compost day! 🌿😅
Can you dig it? 🌿😎
I be-leaf in love at first sight! 🌿💘
If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever! 🌸💭
Soil mate wanted! 🌿💌
If looks could kale! 🥬😏
I’m so glad I pricked you! 🌵💕
I’m all about that basil life! 🌿🎵
I make it rain… petals! 🌸💧
Bee happy, bee bright, bee you! 🐝😊
Having a grape time in the garden! 🍇🎉
You make my heart skip a beet! 🌱❤️
There’s no place like gnome! 🏡🧙‍♂️
Worms at work! 🌿🔨
Growing my own little piece of paradise! 🌿🏝️
Just another day in paradise… in my garden! 🌸😎

We hope these witty garden captions have brought a smile to your face and a giggle to your day! 🌻😂 Whether you’re sharing your garden’s progress or just want to spread a little joy, these captions are sure to do the trick. Keep cultivating laughter and let your creativity blossom! 🌷😄

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not again. I mean good morning.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

42 shares on Slack this month:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

51 shares on Slack this month:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,041

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Seen just now on X:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Trending via WeChat:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Trending via Reddit:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Making waves on Messenger:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Just shared via Messenger:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Seen just now on X:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Making waves on YouTube:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴