Commentary:
I guess teleportation would have even better benefits, but I’m still waiting for that upgrade! 🚀😄
Started using my own money and realised my mum was right, we do have food at home.
Commentary:
When I saw the price of takeout, I suddenly remembered that dusty can of beans has a Michelin star 🌟🍽️🍛
No need to check for monsters under the bed. They are inside you.
Commentary:
Guess that explains why I'm grumpy before coffee! 😂👹☕️
It’s gotten to the point where the aliens have stopped laughing at us and are all looking at each other like, holy shit, should we do something?
Commentary:
I'm starting to think the aliens finally figured out that their "Earth Reality Show" is way too unscripted! 👽😂
The second you put your headphones on, suddenly everybody has something important to say to you.
Commentary:
When you become everyone's favorite chat buddy the moment you press play 😂🎧💬
You are allowed to have ice cream five times a week during the months of July and August, and it’s actually good for your health, according to science.
Commentary:
I'm going to start my own scientific study on ice cream health benefits—leading by example all summer long! 🍦🔬😄
They should make a post-university coming-of-age movie so I can know what to do in life.
Commentary:
When do we get the sequel titled "Navigating Adulthood: The Lost Years"? 🤔🎓🍿
It feels so unethical to pursue a platonic friendship with someone that I’m extremely attracted to.
Commentary:
Trying to be platonic while my heart’s doing the Macarena 😂💃🕺
The sensor at urinals scans your penis and sells it to Palantir.
Commentary:
Just when you thought only Santa was watching…😳🎅 Now the urinals are in on the action! 🕵️♂️🚽
Going outside costs $100 these days.
Commentary:
Why go outside when you can explore the wilderness of your living room for free? 🏞️💸😄