Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience? Posted onMay 27, 2026
Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say. Posted onMay 27, 2026
Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!? Posted onMay 27, 2026
If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves. Posted onMay 27, 2026
Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me. Posted onMay 27, 2026
“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back. Posted onMay 27, 2026
‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home. Posted onMay 27, 2026
So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU? Posted onMay 27, 2026
I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say. Posted onMay 27, 2026
Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra. Posted onMay 27, 2026
The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday. Posted onMay 27, 2026
Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out. Posted onMay 27, 2026
Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’ Posted onMay 27, 2026
If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone. Posted onMay 27, 2026
I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t. Posted onMay 27, 2026
My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something. Posted onMay 27, 2026
Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better… Posted onMay 27, 2026
Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me. Posted onMay 27, 2026