I’m so glad programming is dead. I can finally program whatever I want. Posted onMar 13, 2026Mar 13, 2026
Not participating in humiliation rituals, such as job interviews or modern dating. Posted onMar 13, 2026Mar 13, 2026
Settling down and getting married so I can finally meet the au pair of my dreams. Posted onMar 13, 2026Mar 13, 2026
Being a baby in a stroller under the plastic cover when it’s raining must be a major vibe. Posted onMar 13, 2026Mar 13, 2026
The Boomers are starting to realize that selling what they have requires someone to buy it. Posted onMar 12, 2026Mar 12, 2026
Switching jobs is so scary. What if they use Microsoft Teams instead of Slack? Posted onMar 9, 2026Mar 9, 2026
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it. Posted onMar 9, 2026Mar 9, 2026
Old people won’t listen to you, but will trust a scam caller with their whole chest. Posted onMar 8, 2026Mar 8, 2026
You ever hold an iPhone without a case on it? You can almost feel its eagerness to toss itself onto some pavement. Posted onMar 8, 2026Mar 8, 2026
Make the Microsoft CEO search for an email on Outlook live on camera. Posted onMar 8, 2026Mar 8, 2026
Just once, I’d like to experience the confidence of a goose walking directly into traffic. Posted onMar 8, 2026Mar 8, 2026
Deleting my Call of Duty account so the army can’t see my potential, and I don’t get drafted. Posted onMar 7, 2026Mar 7, 2026
The official signal to go to sleep isn’t yawning. It’s dropping your phone directly onto your own face. Posted onMar 7, 2026Mar 7, 2026
There was a time when Marilyn Manson was the scariest concept in America. Posted onMar 7, 2026Mar 7, 2026