Commentary:
Guess all those brave parents took an arrow to the naming knee! 🏹😂
Sometimes, when I get emotionally attached to a show, I don’t watch the last episode so it doesn’t end for me.
Commentary:
Refusing to say goodbye like a pro, keeping those fictional friends around indefinitely 📺😭🍿
Love putting “the” in front of band names that don’t need it.
Commentary:
This is how I confidently tell my friends about *The Coldplay* and *The Imagine Dragons* 🎸🎤😂
I’ve started answering my phone when a number I don’t know rings, and damn, some of that shit’s important.
Commentary:
Who knew mystery calls could be my new life coach? 📞🤔😆
I’m hosting a charity event for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can’t come, let me know.
Commentary:
Count me in, I’ll come… or at least I’ll try! 😂🎉
Telling your parents about your problems is just creating another problem for yourself.
Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate hack: turning your life into a sitcom! 📺😅
Why is Dick van Dyke an acceptable name, but Pussy van Faggot isn’t?
Commentary:
Dick van Dyke rolled a pun while Pussy van Faggot was benched for foul play ⚽😹
They stop asking for your ID once the light in your eyes is gone.
Commentary:
Guess it's time to bring back the sparkle or start carrying a disco ball ✨🪩😄
Networking will get you a job faster than your degree will.
Commentary:
Degrees are just fancy decorations—who knew a coffee chat could be your career MVP? ☕️🏆
Honestly, I thought adulthood would be way more sex, and way less knee pain.
Commentary:
Adulthood: where romantic nights become ice pack and Advil parties! 💃🕺💊🧊