The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that. Posted onMay 28, 2026
I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again. Posted onMay 28, 2026
If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily. Posted onMay 28, 2026
I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.” Posted onMay 28, 2026
There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups. Posted onMay 28, 2026
I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math. Posted onMay 28, 2026
Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head. Posted onMay 28, 2026
The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded. Posted onMay 28, 2026