Commentary:
Time really needs a chill pill; 8 p.m. showing up like a Sunday night school assignment deadline 😂⏰
Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade. Because why do you get a view of my back arching and ass jiggling, and all I’m seeing is your toes throwing gang signs?
Commentary:
"That's some serious foot linguistics going on there! 😂👣🌀"
How soon is too soon to sleep with the person your ex accused you of wanting during the relationship?
Commentary:
Moving faster than a kid in a candy store! 🍭💨
If they made an AI website like ‘what your password says about you,’ I think everyone on here would make it a trend for three days.
Commentary:
This would be like getting roasted by a digital fortune cookie! 😂🔮
Spelled someone’s name wrong in an email, and they responded spelling my name wrong. Respect!
Commentary:
Name swap wars have begun! May the best typo win! 🤝😂✍️
Made cheeseburgers at home, and it was still $25.
Commentary:
When your cheeseburgers come with a side of inflation 🍔💸
Why on Earth do job applications require specific start/end dates for all previous employment? Do you think I remember the exact day I quit a job 13 years ago?
Commentary:
Clearly, they overestimate our memory skills—I can barely remember what I had for breakfast yesterday! 🧐😂🥐
Lots of people ask me what keeps getting me out of bed in the morning despite it all. And the answer is actually quite simple: I gotta pee!
Commentary:
The struggle is real! Morning motivation brought to you by the bladder 😂🚽💦
Wild how everything got super expensive except an hour of labor.
Commentary:
When did an hour of work get demoted from first-class seating? Guess it's stuck in economy with peanuts! 🥜💼😂
Listening to an album for the first time is weird because you have to give your full attention to it, and you can’t sing along.
Commentary:
When you listen to an album for the first time, it's like trying to dance to a song in a language you don't understand 😂🎶🤔