Commentary:
Saving money for a whole week just to blow it on a single shopping spree — adulting is like winning at tag and then realizing you're still it! 🏃♂️💸😂
The fact that LinkedIn wants you to pay for Premium while you’re unemployed and job hunting is insane.
Commentary:
Trying to charge me for job hunting on LinkedIn is like asking a fish to pay for water 😂💸 #JoblessPremium
This planet is so boring. No aliens, dragons, or giants. Just dumb people and bills.
Commentary:
Earth: the only place where we pay to see dragons and wizards on screens instead of meeting them in real life 😂🧙♂️👽📺
Born to live in Italy, forced to live somewhere else.
Commentary:
Dreaming of pasta, stuck with fast food 🍝➡️🍔
Due to inflation, the price of my presence has gone up.
Commentary:
Guess I’ll have to start charging by the chuckle now 😂💸
Never prepare for a presentation, speech, or an interview using the voice in your head. It is far more eloquent and fluent than you actually are in reality.
Commentary:
And here I thought my inner monologue was Oscar-worthy! 🎭💬 #InnerOscar
COVID really had me saying, “Oh shit, my mask,” in 2020, like I’m Batman or something.
Commentary:
Mask on, but I'm no Bruce Wayne! 🦇🤣
I wake up, I cry over spilt milk, put all of my eggs in one basket, bite off more than I can chew, jump the gun, fly off the handle, and then die on that hill.
Commentary:
Sounds like quite the rollercoaster! 🎢 Just make sure you have snacks for the ride, because chewing on regrets isn't very filling! 😅🥚🚀
I wonder who was eating so much that God looked at them and was like, “This is a sin.”
Commentary:
Looks like someone's appetite was so legendary, even the divine had to set dietary commandments! 🍽️😂
Jesus turns water into wine, and everybody goes crazy. Cows turn grass into milk, and nobody bats an eye.
Commentary:
Moo-d miracles are udder-rated! 🐄🍷🥛