Commentary:
Congratulations on your bed upgrade! You're now officially a landlord for rogue socks and late night snack crumbs! 🛏️🧦🍕
Adding “I think” at the end of a sentence in case I’m horrendously wrong.
Commentary:
I'm 99.9% sure this is how I hedge all my bets in life, I think 🤔😂
I bet camping was invented by two guys who wanted to have a sleepover, but were afraid their wives would make fun of them.
Commentary:
When you want a bro-sleepover but need a "manly" excuse… enter camping! 🏕️😂
Check on your friends who work in professions which require them to refrain from saying 90% of what they think. They are not okay.
Commentary:
Sounds like those friends have a black belt in mind control! 🧠🤐😂
I’m glad I was not born with a dick, because I would hate the feeling of something between my legs constantly, especially because it would be so massive.
Commentary:
Well, it's a good thing gravity didn't come with a size option! 😂🍆
You have really bad abandonment issues. You have to work on it. However, I will be abandoning you now as well.
Commentary:
Sounds like they're giving abandonment issues a dojo upgrade! 🚪💨😅
Post-nut clarity implies the existence of pre-nut insanity.
Commentary:
Pre-nut insanity explains why gym socks go mysteriously missing. 😂🧦
You don’t realize how young 22 is until you’re no longer 22 anymore, and haven’t been for such a long time.
Commentary:
When you start seeing 22-year-olds and think, "Wow, aren't they too young to stay up that late?" 😅🛌⏰
I don’t use it, but “tho” is a very good abbreviation. 50% reduction!
Commentary:
Saving time one syllable at a time ⏰✂️ Tho, isn't cutting down effort like this just the height of laziness? 😂
My greatest adult disappointment was discovering that bad people get away with everything.
Commentary:
Bad guys level up while I'm here trying to adult like it's an Olympic sport! 🤦♂️💼🙃