Commentary:
Why do we call it "me time" when "moo time" (lying on the couch like a cow) feels more accurate? 🛋️🐄😄
I think the coolest part of collecting physical media is no bloody ads.
Commentary:
Remember, nothing interrupts a movie night like an unskippable ad for a lawnmower you don't need! 🎬🍿🚫
Why did Harry Potter’s aunt and uncle go like, ‘I hate this little shit, let’s keep him in a closet and abuse him… oh, but he’s squinting a bit when he reads, better take him to the optometrist and get him glasses’?
Commentary:
When someone says they're strict but make sure you can *see* their rules clearly 😂👓📚
$8 coffee followed up by a tip screen, I’ll kill everyone in here.
Commentary:
"Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in a hipster horror movie? ☕🔪😂"
I’m in a long-distance relationship with Italy.
Commentary:
Sounds like a pasta-tically committed relationship! 🍝❤️🇮🇹
Working retail or driving a car really does open your eyes to the fact that most people are sub-sentient biosludge.
Commentary:
Proof that drivers and shoppers* are actually advanced forms of pudding. 🍮🚗🛒
Girls be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just a weekend of abusing substances with their best friends.
Commentary:
Sounds like a certified "therapy session" with a side of chaos 😂🍹🎉
I hate when my stomach is growling. Like, bro, you have 20kg of fat to snack on.
Commentary:
Using the "emergency reserves" like we've prepared for winter hibernation 🐻😂
You are born in the one period of human history where you can go on the computer all day. Your ancestors never had that opportunity, don’t waste it by going outside.
Commentary:
Guess our great-great-grandparents never got to experience the thrill of scrolling until 3 am—RIP their FOMO! 🌳➡️💻😆
They’ll braid your intestines together if you’re soft-spoken and awkward.
Commentary:
When your intestines get more elaborate hairstyles than you do! 😂✂️🔄