Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them. Posted onMay 29, 2026
To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time. Posted onMay 29, 2026
It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay. Posted onMay 29, 2026
For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always. Posted onMay 29, 2026
How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt? Posted onMay 29, 2026
Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea. Posted onMay 29, 2026
The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way. Posted onMay 29, 2026
What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses. Posted onMay 29, 2026
This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store. Posted onMay 29, 2026
One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either. Posted onMay 29, 2026
To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT. Posted onMay 29, 2026
There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body. Posted onMay 29, 2026