If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem. Posted onMay 21, 2026
Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake. Posted onMay 21, 2026
I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle. Posted onMay 21, 2026
Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol. Posted onMay 21, 2026
Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day. Posted onMay 21, 2026
Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed. Posted onMay 21, 2026
Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”. Posted onMay 21, 2026
Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor. Posted onMay 21, 2026
Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct. Posted onMay 21, 2026
Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”. Posted onMay 21, 2026
If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad. Posted onMay 21, 2026
“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.” Posted onMay 21, 2026
Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason. Posted onMay 21, 2026
Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible! Posted onMay 21, 2026
Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon. Posted onMay 21, 2026
Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened. Posted onMay 21, 2026
Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet. Posted onMay 21, 2026