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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Less talkie. More kissie.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Going viral on WeChat:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Spotted on WeChat:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

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Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

49 shares on Threads this month:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

39 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

35 shares on X this month:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

45 shares on Slack this month:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

16 shares on Threads this month:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,351

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Seen just now on Discord:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Trending via Slack:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Breaking via Messenger:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Shared recently on Instagram:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Going viral on TikTok:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Going viral on X:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Just shared via Facebook:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

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