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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Discord:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Spotted on Instagram:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Just shared via Slack:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Just landed via TikTok:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Live now on Instagram:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Shared recently on TikTok:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Just landed via Snapchat:

About to form my very first opinion.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Making waves on Reddit:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

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