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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,550

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,550

Nov 27, 2025

4,033

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Trending via Telegram:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Trending via YouTube:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Spotted on Snapchat:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Home » Funny Fake Cough Quotes

Funny fake cough quotes

New funny fake cough quotes 👇

3 weeks ago

Commentary:
Looks like the world of excuses just got a catchy soundtrack! 🤒🎵 Who knew faking it could become a Top 10 hit? Don't miss out on the next single, "Sneezing in Harmony", coming soon! 🎶 #iTunesExclusive

calling, cough, excuse, fake, fake cough, humor, i, iTunes, sick, work

All funny fake cough quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,550

Funny Quotes Topics

16,782

Funny Quotes Images

14,550

Nov 27, 2025

3,843

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Going bananas on Twitch:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Making waves on TikTok:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Just shared via Threads:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Spotted on Messenger:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Just shared via Facebook:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Live now on Discord:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

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