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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,563

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Trending via YouTube:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Just shared via X:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Funny foghorn quotes

New funny foghorn quotes 👇

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

3 weeks ago

bullshit, clarity, foghorn, honesty, humor, own, people, perception

All funny foghorn quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

44 shares on Slack this month:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

65 shares on X this month:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

67 shares on TikTok this month:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

14 shares on Messenger this month:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Just shared via Messenger:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Spotted on Messenger:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Just landed via Instagram:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Just landed via Telegram:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Just shared via Threads:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny foghorn quotes

New funny foghorn quotes 👇

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

All funny foghorn quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨