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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Going viral on Twitch:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Trending via Messenger:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Just shared via Messenger:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Reported on Discord:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Spotted on Discord:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Spreading quickly via X:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Just landed via WeChat:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

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