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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Going viral on Facebook:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Shared recently on Discord:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Making waves on Discord:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Seen just now on Instagram:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Just landed via X:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Trending via Threads:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Going viral on Threads:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Just shared via Instagram:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Just landed via TikTok:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

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