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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,931

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Spotted on Threads:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Seen just now on Slack:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Breaking via Telegram:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Shared recently on Telegram:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Shared recently on X:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,992

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Shared recently on Threads:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Just shared via Facebook:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

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