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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Nov 27, 2025

4,021

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Just landed via Slack:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Just shared via X:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Live now on Threads:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Home » Funny Microsleep Quotes

Funny microsleep quotes

New funny microsleep quotes 👇

3 weeks ago

Commentary:
Ah, the infamous "microsleep" phenomenon – a brief moment of shut-eye that stretches into a never-ending slumber, brought to you by the advanced age clock 🕰️⏰. Who needs naps when you can master the art of microsleeps? It's the ultimate power nap strategy for the seasoned snoozer! 💤😆

age, hours, humor, last, life, microsleep, rest, sleep

All funny microsleep quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Nov 27, 2025

3,639

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Making waves on YouTube:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Spotted on Instagram:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Shared recently on X:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Going viral on YouTube:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Live now on Discord:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

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