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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Spreading quickly via X:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Reported on Twitch:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Reported on X:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Reported on WeChat:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Just shared via X:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Just landed via Facebook:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Shared recently on YouTube:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Just shared via Facebook:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Making waves on Instagram:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Reported on Facebook:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

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