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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Shared recently on TikTok:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Live now on Telegram:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Shared recently on Discord:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Reported on Reddit:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Just shared via TikTok:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Making waves on Twitch:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Spotted on X:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Freshly posted on Slack:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Just shared via TikTok:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Going viral on WeChat:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Reported on X:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

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