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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2247 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,409

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,409

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Trending via LinkedIn:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Just shared via WeChat:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Spotted on YouTube:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Live now on TikTok:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Live now on Slack:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2247 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,409

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,409

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Spotted on YouTube:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Spotted on Instagram:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Trending via Threads:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Trending via Snapchat:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Seen just now on Threads:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Shared recently on Threads:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

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