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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Shared recently on Slack:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Just shared via Twitch:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Breaking via Instagram:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Just landed via Instagram:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Just landed via WeChat:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,462

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Just landed via Discord:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Shared recently on Slack:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Trending via Twitch:

Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

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