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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,955

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Going viral on Discord:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Making waves on Snapchat:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Making waves on Discord:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Making waves on Threads:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Just landed via YouTube:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Shared recently on Slack:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Trending via Facebook:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

40 Funny Cocktail Captions to Mix Your Way to Humor

Whether you’re sipping on a classic mojito or a colorful margarita, adding a dash of humor to your cocktail photos is the perfect garnish. These funny cocktail captions will make your pics the life of the party! 🍹😂

Shake Up Your Feed with Funny Cocktail Captions

Sip happens. 🍸😜
You had me at cocktails. 🍹😍
Time flies when you’re having rum! 🕒🍹
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already. 🥃😂
Margaritas: because adulting is hard. 🍹😅
Cheers to pour decisions! 🍸😆
Gin-gle all the way! 🍸🎉
I make pour decisions. 🍷🤪
When life gives you lemons, make a cocktail. 🍋🍹
Alcohol you later! 🍺👋
Why limit happy to an hour? 🍹⌚
Drink responsibly? Nah, drink with a buddy! 🥂😂
Let the evening beGIN! 🍸🌙
Wine not? 🍷😉
Feeling fine with a glass of wine. 🍷😊
Sip, sip, hooray! 🍹🎉
Life is brew-tiful. 🍺😁
Wine a little, laugh a lot. 🍷😄
Keep calm and pour on. 🥃🧘‍♂️
I followed my heart, and it led me to the bar. 🍸❤️

Get the Party Started with Hilarious Cocktail Captions

It’s cocktail o’clock somewhere! 🍹🕰️
Bringing the party to you, one cocktail at a time. 🍸🎈
I’m in a committed relationship with my bartender. 🍹💑
Hakuna Ma’vodka: It means no memories for the rest of your night. 🍸🍹
I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cocktail mom. 🍹👩
Sippin’ on sunshine and cocktails. ☀️🍹
Alexa, bring me a cocktail. 🍹🔊
No bad days with a cocktail in hand. 🍸😊
If life gives you limes, make margaritas. 🍈🍹
Good times and tan lines. 🍹🏖️
Fizz the season to be jolly! 🍾🎄
In a committed relationship with my happy hour. 🍸💍
Drink like a pirate, dance like a mermaid. 🏴‍☠️🧜‍♀️
Less whine, more wine. 🍷🙃
Drinks well with others. 🍻😆
Keep your friends close and your cocktails closer. 🍸🤗
Wine not? It’s Friday! 🍷🎉
Shake it ’til you make it! 🍸💃
I’m outdoorsy. I drink on patios. 🍹🌿
Save water, drink cocktails. 🍸💧

There’s no better way to toast to good times than with hilarious cocktail captions. Whether you’re sharing a drink with friends or capturing moments solo, these captions are the perfect blend of humor and style. 🥂📸

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Reddit this month:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

10 shares on Discord this month:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

61 shares on Threads this month:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,952

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Live now on Slack:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Just landed via Discord:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Seen just now on Slack:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Just shared via X:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Trending via Messenger:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴