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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Going viral on X:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Shared recently on YouTube:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Spotted on Reddit:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Just landed via Threads:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Trending via TikTok:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Breaking via Reddit:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Freshly posted on Slack:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Trending via Instagram:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Trending via Reddit:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Shared recently on X:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Just landed via Pinterest:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Just landed via X:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Just landed via Facebook:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Freshly posted on Threads:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Reported on Snapchat:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

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