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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

658 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,251

Funny Quotes Topics

17,375

Funny Quotes Images

15,251

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,988

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Seen just now on Discord:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Going viral on WeChat:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Live now on YouTube:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Making waves on Facebook:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on X this month:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

49 shares on X this month:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

44 shares on Facebook this month:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

42 shares on Slack this month:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

31 shares on Threads this month:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

658 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,251

Funny Quotes Topics

17,375

Funny Quotes Images

15,251

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,861

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Breaking via Pinterest:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Making waves on Telegram:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Shared recently on Messenger:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

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