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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Shared recently on Messenger:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Going viral on Facebook:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Just landed via Facebook:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Shared recently on Twitch:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Home » Funny Affirmation Quotes

Funny affirmation quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Making waves on Messenger:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Just landed via X:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Breaking via Discord:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Just landed via Facebook:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Reported on X:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

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