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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,480

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Spotted on X:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Trending via Threads:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Making waves on Telegram:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Trending via Threads:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Just landed via Messenger:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Funny affirmation quotes

Funny affirmation quotes bring a hilarious twist to your daily self-love routine 😂✨ They mix positive vibes with humor, making confidence-building feel like a comedy show 🎭💬 Ready to boost your mood and chuckle at the same time? Let these witty words brighten your day and remind you that loving yourself can be seriously fun! 😎🌟

New funny affirmation quotes 👇

All funny affirmation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on X this month:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m running out of people I like.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,346

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Trending via Facebook:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Making waves on Messenger:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Just shared via Twitch:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

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