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Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna. - 14 shares on Telegram this week.
It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking. - 15 shares on Telegram this week.
A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops. - 12 shares on Messenger this week.
Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro. - 65 shares on Snapchat this week.
I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet. - 75 shares on YouTube this week.

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Updated: 2 days ago

Funny ain't quotes

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Posted on2 weeks ago