Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Seen just now on Slack:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Just landed via Slack:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Trending via Telegram:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Shared recently on Threads:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Trending via X:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Funny anecdote quotes

Funny anecdote quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 and a sprinkle of joy 🌟 to everyday moments! Whether you’re sharing quirky misadventures or hilarious life lessons, these witty gems 💬 brighten your day and spark smiles 😄. Perfect for breaking the ice or adding charm to your stories, funny anecdote quotes are your go-to for a quick mood lift and endless giggles! 🎉✨

New funny anecdote quotes 👇

All funny anecdote quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Oh good. Another day.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

95 shares on X this month:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Just shared via Facebook:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Trending via Messenger:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Going viral on WeChat:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Spotted on Messenger:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Spotted on TikTok:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Just landed via Telegram:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴