Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,743

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Spotted on Telegram:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Going viral on Threads:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Going viral on Slack:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Trending via X:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Just shared via Twitch:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Funny anecdote quotes

Funny anecdote quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 and a sprinkle of joy 🌟 to everyday moments! Whether you’re sharing quirky misadventures or hilarious life lessons, these witty gems 💬 brighten your day and spark smiles 😄. Perfect for breaking the ice or adding charm to your stories, funny anecdote quotes are your go-to for a quick mood lift and endless giggles! 🎉✨

New funny anecdote quotes 👇

All funny anecdote quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

60 shares on X this month:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

72 shares on Discord this month:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

84 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

22 shares on X this month:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Never trust a wet fart.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Going viral on Slack:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Just shared via Telegram:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Going viral on Discord:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Trending via X:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Shared recently on X:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴