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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,692

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Live now on Twitch:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Going viral on Twitch:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Just landed via Facebook:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Breaking via YouTube:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Funny antique quotes

Funny antique quotes bring a charming twist to history’s old treasures 🕰️✨ Whether you’re a vintage lover or just here for the laughs 😂, these witty sayings add sparkle to dusty relics and timeless tales. Get ready to chuckle through the ages as humor meets heritage in the most delightful way! 🧸📜 #AntiqueLaughs #TimelessHumor

New funny antique quotes 👇

All funny antique quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

72 shares on X this month:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

43 shares on Discord this month:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

23 shares on X this month:

Y’all pronounce it data or data?

77 shares on X this month:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Shazam but for random noises outside.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,731

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Making waves on TikTok:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Freshly posted on X:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Breaking via Facebook:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Just shared via Threads:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Going bananas on Telegram:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

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