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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Trending via Snapchat:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Seen just now on X:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Going viral on Instagram:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Just shared via Facebook:

50 shades of single.

Shared recently on Slack:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Making waves on Twitch:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Funny antique quotes

Funny antique quotes bring a charming twist to history’s old treasures 🕰️✨ Whether you’re a vintage lover or just here for the laughs 😂, these witty sayings add sparkle to dusty relics and timeless tales. Get ready to chuckle through the ages as humor meets heritage in the most delightful way! 🧸📜 #AntiqueLaughs #TimelessHumor

New funny antique quotes 👇

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

0

2 months ago

antique, antique chair, butt, butts, chair, feeling, funny observation, observation, seen, sitting, thing, weird, weird feeling
Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

0

2 months ago

antique, auction, bidding, humor, joke, me, observation, people, self-deprecation, show
Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

0

2 months ago

actually, antique, attack, doll, fear, human, humans, humor, irony, majority, murder, people, porcelain, porcelain doll, rare, rarity, shark, shark attack
Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

0

2 months ago

antique, collection, count, food, humor, i, irony, late-century, pantry, spice, spices, sure

All funny antique quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

71 shares on Threads this month:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

47 shares on Threads this month:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

59 shares on Discord this month:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,567

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Going viral on Threads:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Going viral on X:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Live now on YouTube:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Spotted on Messenger:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

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