Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,514

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Just shared via Threads:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Breaking via Messenger:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Trending via YouTube:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Just shared via Reddit:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Funny ark quotes

Funny ark quotes bring a splash of laughter to your survival adventure 🦖😂 Whether you’re taming dinos or dodging danger, these witty lines add a hilarious twist to every moment 🐾🎮 Ready to roar with laughter and lighten up your Ark experience? Let’s dive into some epic, chuckle-worthy gems that make the wildest journey even more unforgettable! 🦕🔥

New funny ark quotes 👇

All funny ark quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

35 shares on X this month:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

81 shares on Slack this month:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Just landed via Instagram:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Going viral on Reddit:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Going viral on WeChat:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Trending via Discord:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Trending via Slack:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Live now on Threads:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Going viral on Telegram:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

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