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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,978

Funny Quotes Topics

14,785

Funny Quotes Images

11,978

51 seconds ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Making waves on Telegram:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Shared recently on X:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Trending via Threads:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Just landed via Threads:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Going viral on Reddit:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Home » Funny Assistance Quotes

Funny assistance quotes

Funny assistance quotes bring a smile 😄 when you need a little help! Whether you’re lending a hand or asking for one, these witty gems add humor 🤣 to everyday support moments. Perfect for lightening the mood and reminding us that teamwork doesn’t have to be serious all the time. Ready to laugh while getting things done? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on helping out! 🙌✨

New funny assistance quotes 👇

19 hours ago
Share →: If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Commentary:
Sure, let me help you straight into a comedy show! 😂🤦‍♂️
4 months ago
Share →: It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of self-checkout! 🤷‍♂️ Clearly, they misunderstood the concept of "self" in self-checkout. Maybe they thought it meant "staff-assisted" checkout instead! 🤣 #TeamworkMakesTheDreamWork
6 months ago
Share →: “I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Commentary:
"Oh, the classic 'I'm sure it'll turn up' – a subtle way of saying 'I'm done searching for your lost treasures, mate' 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Don't worry, Sherlock Holmes has got nothing on you… or so they say! 🎩🕵️‍♂️ #LostAndFoundChronicles"
6 months ago
Share →: Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone hit a double whammy of lack of car knowledge and social skills! 🤣 Remember, folks, when offering help, it's best to be prepared in all aspects of life! 🚗💁‍♀️"
6 months ago
Share →: I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Commentary:
Oh, the dream team for all your domestic troubles! 🍳🕴️‍♀️🧹 Who needs therapy when you can have a chef cooking up delicious meals, a butler at your service, and a maid keeping things spick and span? Surely a recipe for a stress-free life, right? 😄 #DomesticBlissGoals

For even more funny assistance quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny assistance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,978

Funny Quotes Topics

14,785

Funny Quotes Images

11,978

51 seconds ago

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Just shared via Messenger:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Seen just now on Discord:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Just landed via Twitch:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

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