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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Making waves on Telegram:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Just landed via Threads:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Spotted on Threads:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Just shared via Discord:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Trending via WeChat:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Just landed via TikTok:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Funny bad thing quotes

Funny bad thing quotes are the perfect way to laugh through life’s little mishaps and awkward moments 😂💥 Whether you’re dodging disasters or just embracing the chaos, these witty lines turn fails into fun! Ready to smile at the silly side of setbacks? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes that prove even bad days can bring good laughs 😜✨

New funny bad thing quotes 👇

All funny bad thing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,637

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Making waves on Reddit:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Shared recently on Threads:

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Going viral on X:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Trending via YouTube:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Going viral on Slack:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

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