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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Going viral on TikTok:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Just landed via Snapchat:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Spotted on Telegram:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Going viral on Slack:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Spotted on Telegram:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Live now on Facebook:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Funny beauty product quotes

Funny beauty product quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your skincare and makeup routine 💄✨ Whether you’re battling bad hair days or celebrating flawless skin, these witty lines bring laughter and lightness to your beauty moments 😂💅 Get ready to smile while you glow—because who said beauty can’t be hilarious? 😍🌟

New funny beauty product quotes 👇

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

0

2 months ago

beauty, beauty product, cosmetics, discontinued, favorite, first-world, first-world problem, frustration, having, lover, makeup, makeup lover, problem, product
You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

0

2 months ago

act, around, beauty, beauty product, calm, confidence, cool, cosmetics, eyeliner, fear, humor, liquid, makeup, product, sense
Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

0

2 months ago

advice, baseball, baseball cap, beauty, beauty product, cap, fashion, fashion statement, funny advice, humor, looking, looking young, money, money-saving, product, products, propeller, saving, secret, statement, stop, wasting, wear, young
Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

0

2 months ago

beauty, beauty product, caffeine, hair, humor, joke, morning, morning routine, product, routine, shampoo, used, work

All funny beauty product quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,321

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Breaking via Discord:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Spotted on Messenger:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Making waves on Twitch:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Going viral on WeChat:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Breaking via Discord:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

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