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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,276

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Going bananas on Slack:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Live now on YouTube:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Trending via Snapchat:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Trending via Threads:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Just shared via Telegram:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Funny beef jerky quotes

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New funny beef jerky quotes 👇

All funny beef jerky quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

87 shares on Slack this month:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,303

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Back to the Future and chill?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Breaking via Discord:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Breaking via Threads:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Making waves on Slack:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Spotted on Reddit:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Spotted on WeChat:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Going bananas on Threads:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

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