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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Dec 19, 2025

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Going bananas on X:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Spotted on Instagram:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Live now on YouTube:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Breaking via Facebook:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Home » Funny Bouncer Quotes

Funny bouncer quotes

Funny bouncer quotes bring a splash of humor to the world of nightclub security 🎉💪 Whether dealing with rowdy crowds or keeping the peace, these witty one-liners show the lighter side of the tough job 🚪😄 Get ready to laugh out loud and appreciate the charm behind those stern looks and firm handshakes! 😂🎤

New funny bouncer quotes 👇

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

1 month ago

bouncer, emotions, heart, humor, little, love, room, still, stricter, year’s
This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

2 months ago

bouncer, date, frightened, humor, lady, lucky, night, night out, pain, physically, relationship, world

All funny bouncer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Dec 19, 2025

3,634

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Trending via Slack:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Breaking via Instagram:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

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