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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,549

Funny Quotes Topics

16,781

Funny Quotes Images

14,549

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,941

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Just landed via Facebook:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Spreading quickly via X:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Going viral on Discord:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Shared recently on Instagram:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Home » Funny Bouncer Quotes

Funny bouncer quotes

Funny bouncer quotes bring a splash of humor to the world of nightclub security 🎉💪 Whether dealing with rowdy crowds or keeping the peace, these witty one-liners show the lighter side of the tough job 🚪😄 Get ready to laugh out loud and appreciate the charm behind those stern looks and firm handshakes! 😂🎤

New funny bouncer quotes 👇

All funny bouncer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,549

Funny Quotes Topics

16,781

Funny Quotes Images

14,549

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,865

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Spotted on Slack:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Spotted on Twitch:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Trending via Slack:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Just landed via X:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Just landed via Facebook:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

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