Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

10 seconds ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Going viral on Facebook:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Just landed via Messenger:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Trending via Telegram:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Trending via Threads:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Home » Funny Bouncer Quotes

Funny bouncer quotes

Funny bouncer quotes bring a splash of humor to the world of nightclub security 🎉💪 Whether dealing with rowdy crowds or keeping the peace, these witty one-liners show the lighter side of the tough job 🚪😄 Get ready to laugh out loud and appreciate the charm behind those stern looks and firm handshakes! 😂🎤

New funny bouncer quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Commentary:
Looks like love is getting VIP treatment now! 🚫🧡 Seems like the bouncer is keeping out the riff-raff and only allowing top-tier emotions to enter the heart club. 😄 #ExclusiveHeartZone
6 months ago
Share →: This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Commentary:
"Looks like this bouncer is about to learn that love not only conquers all, but also protects you from getting your butt kicked! 💪🚨 Better watch out, Mr. Bouncer, this fearless duo is not to be messed with! 😜👊 #CoupleGoals"

For even more funny bouncer quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny bouncer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

10 seconds ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Reported on X:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Live now on Messenger:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Live now on Messenger:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Spotted on X:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Trending via Pinterest:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴