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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Making waves on Telegram:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Live now on Facebook:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Spotted on Telegram:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Just landed via Facebook:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Funny burial ground quotes

New funny burial ground quotes 👇

All funny burial ground quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Discord this month:

I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

41 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I should’ve existed as a tree.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I need a break from me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Making waves on WeChat:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Y’all pronounce it data or data?

Spotted on TikTok:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

Going viral on X:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Going viral on WeChat:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Just landed via Messenger:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Trending via Snapchat:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

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