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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Breaking via Reddit:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Going viral on TikTok:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Making waves on Twitch:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

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Come on, karma, do your job.

1 week ago

come on, expectation, humor, irony, job, karma

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Telegram this month:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

10 shares on X this month:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

94 shares on Threads this month:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Just shared via Instagram:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Trending via Telegram:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

Going bananas on X:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Spotted on TikTok:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Making waves on Instagram:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

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Funny come on quotes

New funny come on quotes 👇

Come on, karma, do your job.

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