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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

820 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,982

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,982

47 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Just landed via Discord:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Going viral on Messenger:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Spotted on Threads:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Spotted on Snapchat:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Home » Funny Comment Quotes » Page 2

14 Funny comment quotes

More funny comment quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Commentary:
"Who needs a costume when you're already a real-life character? 🎃😄 Just add a cape and call it a day! You're spooktacular just the way you are 👻 #HalloweenReady"
6 months ago
Share →: Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of trying to rock a fierce smoky eye but ending up looking like you've been crying over onions 😂👁️ Maybe it's not a makeup trend, maybe it's just allergies at work! 🤷‍♀️ #BeautyStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Commentary:
"Oops, wrong emoji, wrong timing! 🤦‍♂️ Remember folks, choose your emojis wisely, unless you want to turn condolences into a round of applause! 👏🏼😅"
6 months ago
Share →: Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Commentary:
"Responding to all selfies with 'this should work.' 📸😄 Because who needs photogenic perfection when you've got confidence and humor on your side! #SelfieGameStrong"

For even more funny comment quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

820 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,982

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,982

47 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Seen just now on X:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Making waves on WeChat:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Just shared via Facebook:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Going viral on Snapchat:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Making waves on YouTube:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

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