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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Trending via Instagram:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Spotted on Twitch:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Spotted on TikTok:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Going viral on Slack:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Just landed via Threads:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Funny consistency quotes

Funny consistency quotes bring a hilarious twist to the idea of sticking with habits and routines 😄💪 Whether you’re perfectly consistent or delightfully inconsistent, these witty sayings will make you laugh while reminding you that persistence doesn’t have to be boring 🙃✨ Get ready to smile and maybe rethink how you approach your daily grind with some lighthearted wisdom! 😂🔥

New funny consistency quotes 👇

All funny consistency quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on X this month:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

14 shares on X this month:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

55 shares on Telegram this month:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

97 shares on Threads this month:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

62 shares on Threads this month:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

48 shares on WeChat this month:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

98 shares on X this month:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love my bed so much, what a place.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Breaking via Telegram:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Shared recently on TikTok:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Just shared via Facebook:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Live now on Instagram:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Just landed via Telegram:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

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