Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Trending via Slack:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Just landed via Twitch:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Spotted on Messenger:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Making waves on YouTube:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Just shared via Slack:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Just shared via Telegram:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Funny crossing quotes

Funny crossing quotes bring a smile to those moments when life feels like a busy intersection 🚦😄 Whether you’re navigating tricky decisions or just dodging everyday chaos, these witty lines keep things light and entertaining 😂🚶‍♂️ Ready to laugh your way through life’s twists and turns? Let’s cross into humor together and brighten your day, one clever quote at a time! 🛤️✨

New funny crossing quotes 👇

All funny crossing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Threads this month:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

43 shares on Threads this month:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Trending via WeChat:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Going viral on Messenger:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Just shared via Telegram:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Just landed via Facebook:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Trending via TikTok:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

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