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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Going viral on Threads:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Seen just now on X:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Spotted on Slack:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Just landed via Discord:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Trending via Twitch:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Trending via Twitch:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Making waves on Threads:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Funny cruise quotes

Funny cruise quotes 🚢✨ bring the laughs and sunshine ☀️ to your voyage, capturing all the silly moments and salty adventures 🌊😄. Whether you’re a seasoned sailor or a first-time deck explorer, these witty lines keep the good vibes flowing like ocean waves 🌴😂. Ready to set sail with a smile? Let the humor cruise along with you! 🛳️🎉

New funny cruise quotes 👇

All funny cruise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

53 shares on Slack this month:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

37 shares on Discord this month:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,231

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

My favorite color is money.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Going bananas on Discord:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Shared recently on Slack:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Spotted on WeChat:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Trending via Twitch:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Just shared via Messenger:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Spotted on Discord:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

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