Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.