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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,342

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Just shared via Twitch:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Making waves on Telegram:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

13 Funny disappointed quotes

Funny disappointed quotes bring a hilarious twist to those everyday letdowns we all face 🙃✨ When life doesn’t go as planned, why not laugh it off with a clever, witty line? From minor mishaps to big oops moments, these quotes turn disappointment into pure comedy gold 😂🎉 Get ready to smile through the sighs and find joy in the unexpected!

New funny disappointed quotes 👇

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

0

4 weeks ago

common, death, definition, die, disappointed, disappointment, history, humor, i, just, language, misunderstanding, search, search history, sure, through, using, word, words
Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

0

2 months ago

connor, culture, disappointed, disappointment, grok, humor, letting, pop, pop culture, sarah, Sarah Connor, us
I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

0

2 months ago

attitude, care, disappointed, disappointment, humor, i, impressed, independence, me, parental, parental relationship, parents, relationship, sarcasm
I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

0

2 months ago

child, correction, disappointed, disappointment, education, family, help, home, homework, humor, i, incorrect, kid, parent
The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, bed, bedtime, being, best, childhood, children, disappointed, disappointment, early, fun, going, humor, i, irony, parenting, told
Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

0

2 months ago

cynicism, disappointed, disappointment, hate, humor, never, party, political, political party, politics, satire
I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

0

2 months ago

acceptance, again, attitude, disappointed, disappointment, even, frustration, humor, i, just, oh, okay, perseverance, resilience
Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

0

2 months ago

control, disappointed, disappointment, expectation, humor, i, irony, remote, universal, universe
I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

0

2 months ago

came, disappointed, disappointment, expectation, humor, i, leaving, left, observation, reaction, saw, visit
I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

0

2 months ago

am, awake, disappointed, disappointment, expectation, humor, i, irony, life, ready, reality

For even more funny disappointed quotes, hit next 👇

All funny disappointed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Twitch this month:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

99 shares on YouTube this month:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,492

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Shared recently on Discord:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Just shared via Facebook:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Just landed via Messenger:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Making waves on WeChat:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Spotted on Threads:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Breaking via Discord:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Just landed via Threads:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

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